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Tired

Maryland’s Marriage Equality Bill was just recommitted to committee… I didn’t understand what that meant either so don’t feel bad. Basically it means we didn’t get enough votes to get marriage and that it’ll probably be another year before anything happens. So unless DOMA is repealed and the federal government says gay marriage is legal we won’t be legally getting married in Maryland Summer 2012. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, maybe I shouldn’t have started picturing what our wedding at Wye Island or Swallow Falls or Tuckahoe or Deep Creek could look like, but I did. I know that our wedding will be everything that we want it to be no matter where it is, but we really, really want it to be legal. And it’s not. Marriage for us is not legal in either of our home states and that makes me really angry and hurt and torn up inside. And I’m tired.

I’m tired of having to know the legal mumbo-jumbo and what this vote means or that ruling means or where it has to go next. I’m tired of knowing that all of you support and love us but we can’t get married in either of our home states. I’m tired of being excited and let down. I’m tired of having to protest and call and email for such basic rights.

We’re all just really tired. I’m almost twenty-two and most of you have been fighting for equal protections for decades and I know you’re tired too. We’re tired of fighting to keep our jobs or get jobs, we’re tired of fighting to be included in protection bills and housing legislation. We’re tired of fighting for marriage rights and immigration rights. We’re tired of being excluded. We’re tired of explaining and tired of arguing and tired of reading about statistics and tired of dying and tired of being persecuted. We’re tired.

I don’t have any quick fixes or long-term fixes. I know eventually the arc of the moral universe bends towards justice but I want my rights now. I want our family to be protected. The entire Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual Transgender 2Spirit Queer Questioning Intersex Ally family.

We’re just people. We’re really just people.

As a Maryland Delegate in the LGBT Caucus said today: “God said to me… I made you in my image.” We are all God’s creatures. Whichever God/Goddess/Energy/Ball of light You believe in. We are all holy.

Days like today are why we need Pride parades and parties and Gay Bars and LGBT centers and resource groups and school clubs and chat rooms and special websites dedicated to how awesome our weddings can be, blogs about LGBT families and raising children and fighting back against everything society taught you. We still need these resources because we’re still discriminated against, because we’re not equally represented in society. I don’t want to call my mom out, but she’s asked me before why I feel it’s so important to have these separate spaces. These special spaces. Why do I feel it’s important to have friends that are LGBT? This is why. Because we need to be able to be there for each other for celebrations of new relationships, of new legal ground, of a good day.

And we really, really need to be able to celebrate who we are when there are so many people who want to tell us it’s not okay to be who we are. That it’s not okay to celebrate our love. Well it is okay, in fact it’s a beautiful love.

Days like today are why I smile when I see rainbow stickers and queer couples in the streets, going about their day. Days like today are why I smile when I see someone who you know is queer from a mile away and smile when I see someone who doesn’t “look queer” in a queer relationship. We’re in this together. For the long-as-fuck hall.

 

I love you.

 

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Filed under Engaged Life, family, gender, Politics is Personal

Politics – Day 21

There are nine days left in my 30 Day Meme experiment and eight days until my fiance and I are going to California to visit my friends and family for Thanksgiving. We haven’t seen them in seven months and it’ll only be the second time she’s met everybody but already they know she’s family and she knows that she is an essential new part of the family too. Today’s topic is all about personal politics and it’s a good thing I’m writing this really late at night or you would be in for a very long rant…

Day 21: Political LGBT issue that is closest to you or affects you most

There are so many LGBT issues at the forefront and finally getting a lot of media attention that it’s hard to say what would be most important to me. The despicable way in which LGBT people are treated in other countries, tortured and killed for being seen kissing someone of the same-sex or dressing “inappropriately”. The laws here in the U.S. that allow people to be fired from their jobs, or kicked out of their homes, just because they reside in a state that allows such discrimination to continue. The military men and women who risk their lives every day fighting for a country that won’t allow them to reach out to their loved ones for fear of risking their jobs. Living in a country where the validity of a marriage can change depending on the state the couple is in at the moment. These are all laws that need to change and they are so intertwined it would seem ridiculous to separate them at all. The “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” would ensure people cannot be discriminated against in the workplace or said workplace could face charges. What should be included in that would be partner benefits. Any LGBT couple should be entitled to the same rights and responsibilities as any other couple, which brings us to the “Defense of Marriage Act”. Doing away with this act would ensure that marriages are all treated the same anywhere in the country, you have the same rights as any other couple. This should be an old issue, but for some reason, we’re still struggling to figure it out. It’s not hard.

To end this post, a little Daily Show update for you:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-november-15-2010/it-gets-worse-psa

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What’s with all the fighting?! Day 18

Day 18 – Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about

This one is going to be short and sweet. Or full of a short rant?

We’re all different, we have differing opinions. But in the end we all want LGBT2QIA people to have the same equal protections that everyone else has right? Fighting amongst ourselves does little to help our cause and just lets the bigots run all over us. That’s my rant for the day.

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Day 17

Day 17 – Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc

Before I was a loud, proud, engaged, civil rights fighting, gender questioning semi-adult, I was a very quiet teenager. Okay that’s a lie, but I was shy, sometimes. My first experience you say? Well we had a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) at my high school but I never went, of course to be fair I was only there for a year… Probably my first major event was my hometown pride festival, a normally totally family friendly event but gf at the time was completely wasted. Then later after I came to my senses I became the co-chair of the Queer & Ally Club at the community college for a year, spoke at protests, marched in Los Angeles, went to protests in Fresno and San Francisco, and got an equality tattoo on the back of my neck.

I know, I just scream dyke. I’m okay with that.

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Filed under 30 Day Meme, family, gender, growing up, Politics is Personal

Heroes & Role Models

Day 13: LGBT Role Models/Celebrities

Role Models: Maybe this sounds cliche. Maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to say because it’s supposed to be a celebrity? My lgbt role models started when I was young. My dance teacher and his partner because growing up they were the only out gay couple I knew. They weren’t loud about it, as far as I know they still don’t go to family gatherings together, but they’re in love and have been together for almost twenty years I think. They show me Pride is important and beautiful and so is love.

Another Role Model is Robin McGehee, just a great mother turned activist. Fighting for her rights. I don’t necessarily believe in everything that she says. But she fights for what she believes in and that’s important.

All of the brave men and women, transfolk and genderbenders,  LGBT2QIA people, all of the alphabet soup people who come out of the closet even when it’s hard, in other countries or right here in the U.S. All of those that came out before I did, that came out publicly to take a stand, or came out quietly and let people know we’re not scary. All the people that took beatings and those that fought back, those that were peaceful, those that wrote letters, those that created new kinds of families. Those people are my role models. Also this new generation that’s growing up now, the ones who are so brave to stand up to homophobia in their high schools, in the junior highs, those that stand beside us because they just know it’s the right thing to do.

On that note, as far as celebrities go. My favorite celebrities are those that take a stand, that come out even when it may mean risking their job: Lt. Dan Choi and all the other brave soldiers fired under DADT, gay and lesbian actors and actresses who came out, who are coming out. Politicians who come out and don’t hide behind their political party.

Those are my role models. Goodnight.


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Day 8 – Closets are dark and scary

Before I start, I’m sitting on a street corner in my truck getting internet access from the coffee shop across the street, because I forgot my headphones again and because frankly I need music to stand the 8 hour wait that is my fiance’s work time. Since I drive her to work, and the commute is an hour, I can’t simply go home or do any normal daily activities that would be done. She’ll get her car and her license soooooon but the Department of Licensing here, and the Motor Vehicle Administration in Maryland don’t seem to agree on what documents are required nor are they helpful in telling us what other documents will be needed down the line, so here we are. Me in my truck, her car still at the dealership even though we’ve given them a deposit already.

Sorry that was longer than it was supposed to be. My only point was that I probably look like a creep sitting in my truck with my computer…

Day 8: Closets

I think today is an appropriate day to talk about closets and the scary things that happen when we stay in the closet or when we’re forced into the closet. Yesterday they were supposed to bring up the vote to end the ridiculously discriminatory Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. Actually, they were supposed to bring up the whole damn Defense Authorization Bill… but they voted against even bringing it to the floor. The closets people are forced into in order to simply serve their country and keep their job is scary. I’d like to join the Coast Guard. I want to save lives. I think I’d be pretty good at it. But I will not be forced into hiding who I am, I will not put my fiance through the pain of not knowing if I’m dead or alive because they wouldn’t notify her first. I won’t force her, or my family into a closet. This country loses probably millions of dollars training soldiers and then kicking them out just because they fall somewhere into that LGBTQI alphabet soup. It’s disgusting.

I’ll just end my rant on what closets do with a quote from Harvey Milk.

“If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.” Harvey Milk

In other words, it’s time to come out from that scary closet. It’s dark and lonely in there, and out here we have a community, outside of the closet we have a family. The more people know people from our community, know out and proud people, the less they fear us. It’s that simple.

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